I Love Where I Am!

Things are actually going. People are coming out of their winter dens, being a little more friendly. Not much in the way of new investigators that we're finding in the streets, but there is a man named Joseph who we've been teaching. He's really cool, he speaks English pretty alright, Serbian and Hungarian. This part of Northen Serbia is called Vojvodina, and like half the people I meet are half Hungarian, so that's pretty common. We actually have 2 of our strongest members are half Hungarian (Eržebet and Dragana).  Anyways, Joseph has been an investigator for a long time without much progress. I picked him up again with Elder Bolan, and he's been to church now 2 weeks straight, and he is keeping his Book of Mormon reading commitments, and I'm finding a lot out about him as he is opening up more than ever. He's an older man, divorced with a daughter who is autistic. The last lesson we had with him we found out that he is still a happy guy, but happiness has gone down as he's gotten older, he says it was up in the clouds, but it slowly descends, he fears death, but accepts it in a sense of "everything must fall away and stand still, and then whatever happens next must be something completely new, as for what it is, I don't know." I switched into Serbian at this point so there would be no misunderstanding and I testified simply to him the Gospel of Jesus Christ (in a way that I now see everything in life like Elder Wilson taught me), about faith in a resurrection, about repentance being a renewal of things which have become corrupted or fallen away, and I promised him that I knew there would be a resurrection and that we could be brought higher even now in terms of happiness and cleanliness, and that we didn't have to be afraid. It was more simple and elegant than that, but you get the point. We committed him to read in the Book of Mormon, and to come to church the next day. He did both, and we taught about baptism in Sunday School from the 4th chapter of the New Testament manual. It was a very powerful lesson. We are meeting with him tonight and with Dragana with us, and we intend to read 2 Nephi 9 with him.

He's great. I am seeing a light turn on in him, and I really think he will be baptized. He's a good man.

(Stephen sent Jake these two pics of the boys and their friends from last Monday where they hung out and had family night with us, excuse the laundry being folded :) The following paragraph was in response to that)

It sounds like a beehive is moving over there, and the soldiers are getting to work. The pictures of the boys, both in battle physically and then around the family room, brought tears to my eyes. Remember that fast you told me that you and Marcus Leopard and those other few deacons had, with the prayer to see growth? It's comparable to Abraham wanting seed, and then being the father of the entire house of Israel, at least in magnitude. Look at these young men, and those that look up to and are following close on their heels. You won't find a battalion of young men stronger in the Lord than these anywhere on the planet. I would say that that force will be that force spoken of in Isaiah and the Doctrine and Covenants, of "the strength of (the Lord's) house, yea, even (His) young men" that he sends out and calls upon to thrash the nations.  You look at all the men in the world, how many of them are keeping covenants? And what percent of that number have their minds set on giving their all for the next 2 years in straight, exhausting and selfless service in which they will gain nothing as far as material gain? It's a small number, yet your home was full of them that night. I'm so honored and humbled to be in the war on this end, and yet I accept that my time as a soldier in the trenches is numbered now to 100 days, and I will soon be on the other end of the battle, in trenches just as deep if I choose, training young men to fight in this battle. And there's nothing I'd rather do, there is no better calling than serving the Lord and bringing others to Him. No matter the means or the way or the battlefield.

I'm ready to receive the blessings of Chip being out here. I still pray it's here, but I can't be too selfish, perhaps there is another nation that needs a Hixon brother to love them, like I love the Serbians. But I can still pray he is sent here.

Things are moving fast and this week marks the first of my friends to return home from their mission. Wyatt going home is a hard lump to swallow. Exciting as it is for all of us to get back and be...returned missionaries?!....and be together again, these new, adult creatures with these experiences that have changed us forever, to go on further in life and have more adventures, it's still the close of a chapter. And you know me, I hate chapters closing, no matter how good the next one is going to be, and no matter how hard the current one has been. But I've gotten a lot better at accepting change, moving with it. So yeah, sweet that he's finishing. We'll all be finished soon, but I still have more days to work out here, so I can't think too much about it.  

Among all of the life changing decisions I've made, those "defining moments" that President Layton talks about, one that I rank in the top area of those that I'm grateful for is the choice that I made in December to stay and not come home for surgery. Not going home, even though my hand still gives me troubles....I can't even explain how much I've gained and how much I've been blessed to see others grow here. People I'd have never met, never helped, people and experiences that have changed who I am, all those would've been nonexistent had mom not convinced me to push through it. So, thank you Mom. I'll be ever grateful and in your debt (more than I am :) ). I wouldn't change any of it. Every sacrifice has been worth it, and in the end not even comparable to the blessings. I love where I am, what I am doing, and who I am becoming.

I love you all,

Elder Hixon

My Joy Was Full

So we had Zone Conference on Friday. It was legittt. It was actually really inspiring and uplifting. But before conference, I got permission to drive up to Beograd on Thursday night so I could go have a lesson with the Raičević's.  It was so cool. We get to the church in BG and I walk into the kitchen and inside cooking lunch for Zone Conference the next day is Nana, helped by Ljiljana and Andrej and David, and I was just surrounded by happiness and light and I had kind of a small experience that let me feel a small portion of joy that it talks about in D&C about bringing souls into the Kingdom. It was so cool. We had found and taught every single person in that room. It was great. Not to get a big head, but the joy was just so real to know that I could be a part of this. Of them.

Then we go back to the Raičević's and have a lesson and just talk and have a good time (Elder Nielsen came with me and Bolan worked with Trotter). As we were walking over with David (Andrej and Ljilja met us there after, they stayed a bit longer to help prepare), we were just talking to him. Do you remember when I came back to the mission and had that experience where I saw how much Nana and Zoe had grown in the months I was gone? And how overwhelming it was to see that they were growing and being taken care of without me? Well, it repeated with this family. I seem to have a tendency of leaving 2 days after baptisms haha.  So David starts talking to me and says that he wanted to know why the church was true, in the sense "I know it is, but why? Why is it so much different than other churches? What makes it the true one?" I told him about authority and keys a little bit, but then I felt to tell him my experience with the Spirit. I told him that Joseph Smith once said that what separates us from other churches is that we have the Gift of the Holy Ghost, and I talked with him about that for a while. We talked about my feelings with living according to the Gospel, and with not, and the difference. He agreed that he felt the same way.

Later we were at their place, and the question came up again. Apparently after church, Ljilja and the boys (and sometimes Dušan) will talk about what they learned, and this has been a prominent question to them. It is asked me, and I turn to David and say, "Why don't you answer this one, David?" And he goes and just testifies so strongly about the Spirit and just wrecks it. I was so proud I struggled to not just start crying. What else was cool is that usually Filip (oldest, unbaptized brother) wouldn't stay in the room when the Gospel was talked about, but he stuck around the whole time, and at one point leaned over to Andrej and asked him "are your kids going to be Mormon?" And Andrej said "Absolutely. No questions."  Seeing them all was so much fun and worth everything. The next day, Filip came with Ljilja to the church to help make lunch the rest of the way for conference and to see me and Fausnaught. It was so rich. My joy was pretty dang full.

Elder Hixon

A Better Week

Yeah you read that right.

Nothing changed on the exterior. The stress is still real, difficult and exhausting. The challenge didn't change.

But that's not the point. The point is, this week was better, and next will be even better. I got hit with a few things. First was a amazing urgency and love of my mission. Don't get me wrong, I still can't wait to be home again. I don't know if I can explain it, but I can't think about life being anything special or fun if I'm not preaching the Gospel and teaching people and watching them experience a gift that is everything. Watching lives change and having an active part. I can't imagine life where everything isn't in Serbian, where the bread isn't 20 cents and nationality is real, where I am a little spooked at all times, a place without being yelled at a lot and feeling semi in danger at times, where I'm a stranger and foreigner. It's...life. It's a huge part of my life. It's everything I am and all I know. My entire being is changed from what it was 2 years ago, and I can't imagine what life would be without part of it being in the Balkans.  I love it here, and I don't really want to come home. But don't tell anybody ;)

Second thing that hit me this week. I had a really rough day with some very real frustrations. Satan was getting me real good. I decided to open my journal and scribble down some Serbian anger that only I would ever be able to read, when my Patriarchal blessing fell out. I picked it up, and I started reading it.  The tears flowed freely, and a certain part stood out to me, where it says "you will learn how to communicate with the people and teach others how to communicate with them" I had a strange experience. I looked at the situation and saw a small view of God's view of my companion and these people. I then saw myself clearer than ever before. I thought about the moment President Grant called and said,

"Elder Hixon, it looks like we have to move you earlier than we wanted to! But, the Lord wants you in Novi Sad. I don't know why, it completely goes against my plans, but for some reason the Lord wants you there. So go find out why, and work hard."

As I thought about all these things, looking at my blessing, I saw that I had been blessed with so much. I know how these people work, I understand and have loved these people, and all of this without a ton of effort on my part. They've all been gifts from the Lord. And they've blessed my life in ways I can't even explain. And where so much is given, much is required. I am required to do this. I saw clearly that this move to Novi Sad was as inspired as any other move President Rowe made, and as inspired even as President Grant shipping Elder Wilson and I down to Montenegro to find Srdjan and the others. I sank to my knees and just cried and told Heavenly Father how sorry I was, and asked him to forgive me, and that I would do everything I could to help those on my path.

And then it got easier. It's just easier to be happy about it, laugh a lot, and keep smiling. And we're making progress. We found some new investigators this week, one in specific named Zoran who is a stud. And we've been making progress with Konstantin.  

All in all, it was one of those weeks of my mission I'll never forget.

Love,

Elder Hixon

Novi Sad Week 2

I love my district and I love the branch. There are good people here, and we have a few cool investigators. So, with all that said, I would be happy to finish my mission here in Novi Sad.

This week was pretty slow.  We got a lot done, but not anything fun to talk about. I've converted entirely over to finishing the Book of Mormon and doing all of my studies in Serbian. Which is good, I actually get loads of insights from things I wouldn't usually find interesting. But Alma 38:5 really struck a cord with me this week. I don't know, actually chapters 36-whenever Alma is done talking to his sons. I just looked at them in light of their setting of when they were given, and thought about them as a father's closing remarks to his sons. There's a lot of rich and simple bits in there. But I really found it interesting that it was often said in these chapters (and all throughout the Book of Mormon) that someone, usually the speaker or whoever he's addressing, will be 'lifted up at the last day.' As part of their testimonies, they were hell-bent (can I use that phrase here?) on overcoming death. It was a fear, the fear of death, that they found solace and comfort from in the coming of the Lord. Not diminishing the remission of sins offered by the great Sacrifice, yet amplifying to at least an equal appreciation of the resurrection of the dead. I don't know the last time I bore my testimony and testified that 'I know I will be lifted up.' Do we take that merciful miracle of the resurrection for granted? They didn't. It was everything to them.

So yeah, those are my thoughts this week. Maybe I've just looked at life as a bit more fragile, lately. As fragile as worthiness and cleanliness.

One other thought. Lately I have had a few frustrated missionaries ask me out here how I have so many baptisms (not to toot my own horn at all, but somehow I have the most in the mission currently), and my only responses are usually 'God knows a sinner like me needs all the help and boost experiences I can get', 'God put those people in my path,' and etc. but when that doesn't satisfy missionaries looking for how to improve their own work and they persist for more, I just tell them what is really deep in my heart, 

'I never have had a convert who I didn't treat and see as one of my close friends. They weren't a number or even an ''investigator'', they are my friends, and I love them. And with that, I do everything I can to give them something I love, and they can feel and sense that, and so I think that somehow they trust me.'

I hope that doesn't sound self aggrandizing because I think it's such an important thing I have learned out here. I love my people here.

and with that

I love you all as well.

Elder Hixon